How do you talk to children about coronavirus? Stay honest and simple to avoid anxiety.

BERGEN, N.J. – Be careful what you say around children. As anyone who has any or works with them knows: They hear everything.

Lately, much of what they overhear is about coronavirus. 

The talk has been alarming and scary. People wearing masks, the number of infected people flashing on TV screens and talk of quarantine can be frightening

How should parents and educators talk about the issue with children without making them anxious and frightened?

Be honest and keep it simple. 

Most children know what a cold is – start there.

“The common cold is also caused by viruses, and this is no different in the way that it's spread from person to person,” psychiatrist Sarabjit Singh said.

Talk should focus "on washing hands for at least 20 seconds and coughing into the sleeve, not the hand, and maintaining a 3-foot distance," said Singh, executive medical director of behavioral health services at St. Clare's Health in Morris County, St. Mary’s General Hospital in Passaic County and St. Michael’s Medical Center in Essex County. 

Watch out for news overload

Though it’s important not to shut out information or put blinders on, parents need to be media-savvy and watch out for information overload.

“Every time you turn on the TV or go on the internet, things tend to get sensationalized, which creates an alarmist attitude,” Singh said. “Often this leaves more questions than answers in the minds of kids.”

The anxious brain will always think of the worst-case scenario. It’s important to let children know that just because the virus dominates news coverage, that doesn’t mean the problem is getting more severe. News coverage can get repetitive.

“It doesn’t mean there is a catastrophe. Often it just means that there is no new information,” Singh said. “When listening to the news, the approach to take for both adults and kids is to ask: Is there anything new coming out?”

Parents should be mindful of their tone during these conversations. 

“It’s not just the tone of media, it is also the tone of adults when approaching the topic. We tend to project our worries onto the kids. Our tone needs to be neutral, but we should not avoid conversations like this,” Singh said.

Adults should keep calm, too

Individuals with preexisting health conditions over 80 years old will need to be more vigilant, but this is not a deadly virus for children, said Robert Lahita, chairman of medicine at St. Joseph's Regional Medical Center in Paterson, New Jersey.

Lahita is studying the virus, and he said it’s clear that “with very young people, there is something that is preventing them from getting very sick.”

“In fact, there were two newborns infected with the virus who weathered the virus very well,” he said. 

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Lahita said he doesn't want to downplay the seriousness of the virus for adults.

"Within the next four months, I see this infection going big. There will be lots of communities that will be infected. There will be churches and schools, etc., and I think our hospital, St. Joe’s, is going to be very, very busy," Lahita said.

"All of the hospitals within the state and the city of New York are going to be busy," he said. "We are ramping up for this as we speak."

As with the cold or influenza, Lahita said, individuals sickened by the coronavirus will have different reactions, depending on their immune system.

“Some people will be asymptomatic," he said, "others will have the common cold and others will have total respiratory failure." He said 80% do not get very sick, 14% get "somewhat sick" and 2% "wind up in the hospital.” 

Even though these numbers are scary, it’s better not to keep children in the dark, Lahita said.

Singh advised against waiting until the virus hits or affects the family before talking to children.

“That kind of attitude, whether it’s by caregivers, adults or school systems, always invokes more anxiety,” Singh said. “It sends the message that adults are keeping secrets. The more people get educated about an issue the better it becomes. Anxiety in its simplest form as a phenomenon is all about uncertainty.”

The bottom line 

"The CDC warned people … that it would not be a question of if, but when the virus would start spreading," said Donald Allegra, an infectious disease specialist with St. Clare's Health.

The virus acts and spreads much like the common cold, which means you have to be within 6 feet of somebody to get it, Allegra said. 

“It is a concern,” Allegra said. “But we are preparing for it. In the end, it’s going to be much less of a concern than a bad influenza season.”

Follow Gene Myers on Twitter: @myersgene